Can a fantasy survive a real punishment? Options

When I last saw you, Mistress, you told me your personal sub had earned a real punishment. He was going to get it that evening. You said he wouldn’t be able to sit down for a month.

On my walk home that afternoon, I couldn’t stop thinking about what your sub must have been feeling from the moment he woke up that morning, knowing what was coming. I don't need to ask what he felt like afterwards

I would greatly appreciate hearing first of all how the punishment proceeded and, secondly, how you, as a domme, felt while giving such a punishment, compared to the kind of "friendly" (but certainly painful ☺ ) punishments you give me and other clients.

The reason my ears picked up when you mentioned the real punishment is that as long as I've had my spanking fantasies, the wish to be truly punished has been present. I realized while thinking about the real punishment you were going to deliver that I have two kinds of spanking fantasies, although they definitely overlap.

Type 1) Sometimes I imagine the woman gives me a hard spanking just because she gets off giving it, which is partly why I’m asking what you feel when giving a real punishment. Afterwards, she might fuck me if she feels like it. I am a passive participant. She is using me, although I like that. This scenario is probably what I would like to experience in a relationship.

Type 2) Other times, I am punished because I have done something bad, or simply because I am a "bad" soul, ridden with some kind of nameless guilt. The person giving the punishment is always a beautiful woman, often in uniform, but there are few or no sexual overtones, unlike the first kind of scenario.

Until I got my first spanking from a domme 3½ years ago, I always craved the “real punishment”, Type 2. But now that I’ve had a great many sessions, I find when I crave a good spanking it is more often likely to be the Type 1 spanking. They hurt like hell sometimes but they’re fun, and to varying degrees, erotic. I'm generally feeling better about myself in recent years than I used to, so I'm guessing this is why I now mostly think in terms of the "friendlier" beatings.

That said, the fact remains that when I learned that you were about to give your sub a real punishment, I got aroused again at the thought of receiving one. I realized that the feeling was much like what I felt when I went to receive my very first spanking from a domme. I felt some fear as I walked to the dungeon that night. I didn't know what to expect. I remember that walk, and my first sight of a domme in person, vividly, not just because she was beautiful, but because fear and the unknown got the adrenalin running.

The difference now is that I no longer feel any fear. Being spanked by a beautiful domme has simply become my favorite activity in life, and if I were rich I'd have at least a session a week.

I know you could break me with just 10 or 20 rapid, full-force strokes of a paddle or whip, but that wouldn't allow me to fully experience the psychological aspect of the punishment, I would imagine you would get nothing out of that either, but I don't know.

Besides unbearable pain, there is something else I am afraid of about a real punishment. A domme once told me about a very regular client (once a week) who one day announced he wanted to be tied up and whipped by two dommes until he "broke". There was to be no safe word in effect. They did as he asked and left him crying uncontrollably. He was begging them to stop but they followed his instructions. He never came back and they never heard from him again.

What I keep wondering is, did "the real thing, the real punishment" kill his fantasy? If so, I don't want it.

I would love to hear any thoughts you and others might have about the last point in particular. After all these years, I think I'd be quite lost without it.

As always, thanks for sharing.

Posted by Kolan Blanc on my Google group